How To Answer The Usual Questions Asked Of Indians

 

To help the new wave of incoming students from India, here are the proper answers to awkward questions asked everyday: 

 

• Q. What does that red dot on women’s forehead mean? 
  • A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife’s red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target…. 

 

• Q. You’re from India? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation? 
  • A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started participating in elephant-ride sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an “emissions” problem….. 

 

• Q. Does India have cars? 
  • A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes.

 

• Q. Does India have TV? 
  • A. No. We only have cable. 

 

• Q. Are all Indians vegetarian? 
  • A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India. 

 

• Q. How come you speak English so well? 
  • A. You see when the British were ruling India, they employed Indians as servants. It took too long for the Indians to learn English. So the British isolated an “English-language” gene and infused their servants’ babies with it and since then all babies born are born speaking English. 

 

• Q. Are you a Hindi? 
  • A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India. 

 

• Q. Do you speak Hindu? 
  • A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity. 

 

• Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt? 
  • A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me go to school. 

 

• Q. India is very hot, isn’t it? 
  • A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is why tea is such a popular drink in India. 

 

• Q. Are there any business companies in India? 
  • A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian principles of self-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and grow our own food. That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians — it is is a lot of hard work. 

 

• Q. Indians cannot beef, huh? 
  • A. Cows provide milk which is a very essential part of Indian diet. So eating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the population of the country, the government is trying to encourage everyone to eat human meat. 

 

• Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly? 
  • A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But it is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work when I meditate like that. But the bosses there do the same thing. That is why things are so inefficient there. 

 

• Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that? 
  • A. We don’t have shoes. So we burn the bottom of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk. 

 

• Q. Why do you sometimes wear Indian clothes to work? 
  • A. I prefer it to coming ….

WISHING YOU AND Your FAMILY A VERY HAPPY NAVARATRI AND VIJAYADASHMI!!

Vasant Navratri, also known as Vasant Navratras, begins on March 19, 2007. This festival of nine nights is dedicated to Goddess Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswati. It is also known as Chaitra Navratras or Spring Navratri. Details of Navratri in October 2007 can be found here.

Why is Navratri Celebrated twice a year?
Most people associate Navratri with the celebrations that take place in the lunar month of Ashwani - September/October. The second Navratri is celebrated in the lunar month of Chaitra – March/April.

Both the Navratris are celebrated when nature undergoes important climate changes. It is held during the beginning of summer and the beginning of winter. It is a time of thanksgiving to Mother Nature – who protects and sustains us.

The vasant or Spring Navratri is more famous in Himachal Pradesh, Uttarakhand (Uttaranchal), Punjab and Haryana. Most people are not aware of the Vasant Navratri as it does not have the pomp and fanfare associated with the Durga Puja celebrated in September-October.

The vasant Navratra also coincides with Ram Navami, which falls on the ninth day of Chaitra month. Due to this the Navratri in March is also known as Ram Navratri. During this period, fairs are organized in temples in Himachal Pradesh and Uttarakhand.

Most devotees fast during the period of Navratri and on the Ashtami day little girls are worshiped.

MAY THE DIVINE BLESSINGS…

FILL YOUR DAYS WITH GOOD CHEER AND HAPPINESS!

MAY YOUR CELEBRATION OF NAVRATRI BRING ALL THE BEST THINGS TO YOU

Wishing you all a very Happy Navaratri

SIGNIFICANCE OF NAVARATRI

 

A deeper meaning of the festival Navaratri suggests the spiritual growth of a person, where one needs courage to stand up for others and protect the weaker and be able to fight the evil and their temptations. This is the first requirement of spiritual growth - to take a firm against the evil and for the good. The second requirement is to fulfill one’s needs, treat the guests and help the poor. For this one needs money and the next three days of Navratri are dedicated to the worship of Lakshmi so that she would bless us with the necessary money to be put to good use. Learning virtues and good qualities and upholding one’s responsibility as a sacred duty is the next requirement to the spiritual growth. Finally, Goddess Saraswati is worshipped so that she blesses us with power of knowledge and helps us to attain spiritual enlightenment.

The 9 nights festival of Navratri begins on the first day of Ashwin of the bright fortnight. The festival comes to an end on the tenth day of Vjay Dashmi or Dussehra, when the idols of the Goddess Shakti are immersed in the river. Dussehra, is thus, considered auspicious for beginning mantra incantation and renouncing the world as ‘Sanyasi’. However, Navaratri has a message for people who lead worldly life too. It teaches us to surmount obstacles with the help of Durga, thank and pray to Lakshmi for her blessings and gain knowledge with the blessings of Saraswati. This done, we can find Shakti (power) within ourselves. We must also understand that Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswati are different facets of a single entity, thus, representing that Mother Goddess bestow us with wealth, prosperity and knowledge and protect us too.

10 Essential Health Tips

(The Basics to Practice Every Day)

“He who has health has hope, and he who has hope has everything.” -Arabian Proverb

 

1. Move More

Make it a daily challenge to find ways to move your body. Climb stairs if given a choice between that and escalators or elevators. Walk your dog; chase your kids; toss balls with friends, mow the lawn. Anything that moves your limbs is not only a fitness tool, it’s a stress buster. Think ‘move’ in small increments of time. It doesn’t have to be an hour in the gym or a 45-minute aerobic dance class or tai chi or kickboxing. But that’s great when you’re up to it. Meanwhile, move more. Thought for the day: Cha, Cha, Cha…. Then do it!

2. Cut Fat

Avoid the obvious such as fried foods, burgers and other fatty meats (i.e. pork, bacon, ham, salami, ribs and sausage). Dairy products such as cheese, cottage cheese, milk and cream should be eaten in low fat versions. Nuts and sandwich meats, mayonnaise, margarine, butter and sauces should be eaten in limited amounts. Most are available in lower fat versions such as substitute butter, fat free cheeses and mayonnaise. Thought for the day: Lean, mean, fat-burning machine…. Then be one!

 

3. Quit Smoking 

The jury is definitely in on this verdict. Ever since 1960 when the Surgeon General announced that smoking was harmful to your health, Americans have been reducing their use of tobacco products that kill. Just recently, we’ve seen a surge in smoking in adolescents and teens. Could it be the Hollywood influence? It seems the stars in every movie of late smoke cigarettes. Beware. Warn your children of the false romance or ‘tough guy’ stance of Hollywood smokers. Thought for the day: Give up just one cigarette…. the next one.

4. Reduce Stress 

Easier said than done, stress busters come in many forms. Some techniques recommended by experts are to think positive thoughts. Spend 30 minutes a day doing something you like. (i.e.,Soak in a hot tub; walk on the beach or in a park; read a good book; visit a friend; play with your dog; listen to soothing music; watch a funny movie. Get a massage, a facial or a haircut. Meditate. Count to ten before losing your temper or getting aggravated. Avoid difficult people when possible. Thought for the day: When seeing red, think pink clouds….then float on them.

5. Protect Yourself from Pollution

If you can’t live in a smog-free environment, at least avoid smoke-filled rooms, high traffic areas, breathing in highway fumes and exercising near busy thoroughfares. Exercise outside when the smog rating is low. Exercise indoors in air conditioning when air quality is good. Plant lots of shrubbery in your yard. It’s a good pollution and dirt from the street deterrent. Thought for the day: ‘Smoke gets in your eyes’…and your mouth, and your nose and your lungs as do pollutants….hum the tune daily.

6. Wear Your Seat Belt

Statistics show that seat belts add to longevity and help alleviate potential injuries in car crashes. Thought for the day: Buckle down and buckle up.

7. Floss Your Teeth

Recent studies make a direct connection between longevity and teeth flossing. Nobody knows exactly why. Perhaps it’s because people who floss tend to be more health conscious than people who don’t? Thought for the day: Floss and be your body’s boss.

8. Avoid Excessive Drinking 

While recent studies show a glass of wine or one drink a day (two for men) can help protect against heart disease, more than that can cause other health problems such as liver and kidney disease and cancer. Thought for the day: A jug of wine should last a long time.

9. Keep a Positive Mental Outlook 

There’s a definitive connection between living well and healthfully and having a cheerful outlook on life. Thought for the day: You can’t be unhappy when you’re smiling or singing. 

10. Choose Your Parents Well 

The link between genetics and health is a powerful one. But just because one or both of your parents died young in ill health doesn’t mean you cannot counteract the genetic pool handed you. Thought for the day: Follow these basic tips for healthy living and you can better control your own destiny.